Where does the time go? I mean really.
I said to myself, "Take a break, then get right back to it."
Then, "When summer break gets here, you'll have time to write."
After relenting to teaching summer school, "When summer school is over, I'm doing what I WANT to do!"
We had a beach vacation planned for the beginning of July so, "I'm going to write at the beach! It will be great to capture those slices!"
Now, I promise you that I am not crazy, but this is a pattern of someone who is not too observant of their own reality. (In case you hadn't noticed that on your own.)
Continuing with the story, we got back from vacation. "Ok, this week is the week. I'm going to get something posted. I have a million slices that I want to write."
Then, "Next weekend, I'll write and get going so I have something to post on Tuesday."
After that, "School supplies are out!! I have to get back to writing! How can I be accountable if I'm not being accountable!!"
I did not plant my computer on my lap and write. I did not drag out my favorite pens and notebook and get into a new habit. I did not jot my many noticings and thoughts about the everyday moments I was living on shopping lists and scraps of paper.
I did think about it and guilt myself silly. It really is silly, the guilt and ridiculous feelings with which we shame ourselves.
And here I find myself. Today is the day. I am writing despite my to-do list and frenzied life pace.
The school year is going strong. It's been my busiest start to a year that I can remember. It's wonderful and awful at the same time. I just knew that getting back into the groove of school would get me back to writing, right? Not so much.
So what finally got my fingers going on this keyboard? Well, a very strong desire is one thing. Also, my family has been sick with this nasty stomach bug. There are many little slices that I could torture you with, but no one wants to read gruesome tales of woe from a mother who does laundry incessantly and uses lysol spray for an air freshener and body spray. It is sufficient to say that I've been cleaning quite a lot.
Anyway, I'm back...for this week anyway. :)
Welcome back! It's great to put those fingers on the keyboard. No guilt about past weeks. Here's to better health for you and yours. And I totally understand how the beginning of a school year is wonderful and awful at the same time!
ReplyDeleteI'm glad you pushed through all the excuses about NOT writing, and gave it a go, Emily. Ugh, the flu. Perhaps you needed something to take your mind away, like writing! Best wishes for keeping on. Isn't there a saying that's something like "If you need something done, ask the busiest person you know." In all your 'busy' life, you found time for a slice! Have a great rest of the week!
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