New Mom Tired is a special kind of Tired

In the still of the night, I sit holding Baby Gabe, eyes closed and dozing.  Trying not to completely fall asleep, resulting in dropping the baby, I blink my eyes.  The blinks get longer...and longer...and longer.  Man, so very tired, exhausted. I need to either wake up or lay him down.  Neither option is easy.  If I don't have something in front of me, tangible, bright, the sleep will just over take me.  However, I didn't bring my phone with me.  I was too tired to think to grab it.  Laying him down is tricky.  I have lost my touch in my five year vacation.  I have to go back to bed.  This is silly.  Slowly, tensing all the muscles I have awake, I stand and softly walk toward the crib.  Ever so gently, I lay him on his back, hoping the blanket keeps his arms bundled securely to his chest.  Success!  I tiptoe out the door.  Collapsing in bed, I smile into the night.  What a blessing to be so exhausted!