It's his cankles and the line in the chubbiness where his wrist should be. Those are the things that you miss. The daily grind, barely making it in survival mode, makes it tough to soak in these moments. I am a new mom, for the fourth time.
You might be thinking, "you can only be a new mom once, when it's actually new", but I'm here to tell you that you forget. You forget the best parts. You also forget the hard parts. Thankfully you forget that stuff. If you didn't forget the hard parts, the feral, primitive, hardly ever awake parts, the earth would cease to be populated. That's how hard it is. I had not documented those parts, so I forgot. Hence, I am a new mom...again.
Thinking about the hard parts, focusing on getting through, makes me glide over the best parts. I hardly notice the funny noise he makes as he is falling asleep, sucking on that binky. I will forget how he startles himself in the bathtub with his own kicks. When he is hungry, and it's time to eat, he licks his lips and sucks in his bottom lip. I will miss that little detail of his face, his development, him.
I am, right now, committing to saving these things. Knowing that my other boys were similar, and I didn't keep up recording their little bits, what made them special little babies, will keep me on track this time. These moments have to stay with me so I can remember, so I will not forget.
That's beautiful and so sweet. I like how you realize the beauty that goes with the tough parts - you didn't gloss over any parts of it. You are a beautiful new mom! Try to enjoy, at least with one eye open.
ReplyDeleteAlthough I've never been a mom, watching others I have realized that every child is different and you are at a different point in your life with each child. Savor everything!
ReplyDeleteP.S. Congrats on your other new baby...your first SOLSC post. I hope you learn and savor some things asa new slicer, too.
What a gift to record all those small moments that as a mom you think you'll always remember but over time we forget. What lucky boys to have you for their mama! I look forward to future posts from you. :)
ReplyDeleteWhat a gift to record all those small moments that as a mom you think you'll always remember but over time we forget. What lucky boys to have you for their mama! I look forward to future posts from you. :)
ReplyDeleteThese are the moments to savor and share at his wedding. If we don't write them down we won't remember. Writing to save the moments is so powerful. So enjoy the "new mom" world and hang on to the good stuff. Welcome to slicing!
ReplyDeleteI love that this is what you will capture to remember. You got me at the "startles in the kick in the bath". I remember that, the baby movement all its own. I'll be looking for these "new mom" pieces!
ReplyDeleteI so miss those moments. I think I remember all the "good times" and then my husband will remind me of the lack of sleep, fits of crying and being mostly attached to that little being for the first 6 months of her life. What a gift that you are writing it down now. Cherish it..."new" momma!
ReplyDeleteI remember some of the hard times in those early weeks. Much returned as I watched my daughter and her babies. It is rough, but as long as we can forget the difficult and painful, the world still gets populated! It will be great to get these moments written down, and I'm going to enjoy reading them!
ReplyDeleteThis piece is so beautiful! You CAN be a new mom . . . again. I, too, wish I had been better at recording those moments and those special little bits about my kids. You'll do it this time, for sure!
ReplyDelete